Chris' Babel Blog - Languages

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

cyeomans — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:36:00 +02:00

It has not been a good few weeks for the English language. First Countdown was plunged into crisis and then a lecturer at New Bucks University suggested that common spelling mistakes be allowed as variants. This really annoys me.

Yes some people have problems with spelling, but if general literacy standards at schools and universities are slipping then they ought to be addressed, not just accommodated. Do these people just have to text ‘dgree’ to be accepted on a course?

Sadly such tolerance of laziness and ‘dumbing down’ is symptomatic of a wider malaise across many sections of society. Why let historical fact get in the way of a Hollywood adaptation? Why learn another language, because others are sure to speak English? Why vote, because ‘they are all the same’? It makes my blood boil.

What is particularly annoying about this state of affairs is that, more than ever before, the solution to many answers is only a Google search or a spell-check away. It is pure laziness and ignorance. Of course language, like civilisation or democracy, is a living entity. Language evolves, mutates and changes over time as new words enter our daily vocabulary. Yet that does not mean that we ought to tolerate sloppiness. To do so degrades our linguistic traditions and the role that language plays in our lives.

I suspect that I will be called an intellectual snob (though hopefully spelt with two l’s) for having such views, but I am not…

Dumbing down jst rlly irit8s me.

Illiteration

cyeomans — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 12:08:00 +02:00

With perfect timing, I am leaving the UK just as the latest series of Big Brother gets underway. I cannot abide this trite excuse for programming, and I am delighted that I will be able to avoid the vacuous media coverage that accompanies this annual event.

I have, however, coined a phrase for the way in which the British tabloids describe proceedings...

I have named it 'Illiteration' and hereby define it as 'a succession of words beginning with the same letter, employed by the tabloid newspaper journalist to draw the attention of the uncouth and uneducated to pointless reality TV 'goss'.

Example:

Busty BB babe's boozy bonks with boy band beau.

Roll on Paris

On Se Facebooke?

cyeomans — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:51:00 +02:00

Brushing up on my cyber-French (I know - I lead such a sexy, exciting existence!) I was amused by the verb googler to allude to the use of the popular search engine. This got me thinking…

Like millions of others, Facebook has begun to take up an inordinate amount of my time - replacing text, email and MSN as my most convenient means of social voyeurism. I began to wonder if I could create a French verb to describe the ritual when you meet someone/rediscover a blast from the past and add them as a friend.

Following the googler example, I propose the verb facebooker.

Example:

- T’as vu son ex-copine? (have you seen his ex-girlfriend?)

- Si, je viens de la facebooker (yeah, I’ve just looked her up on facebook)

But we can take this further, to account for the point when you meet someone and decide to add each other as contacts. This is a higher level of intimacy, as they can now post on your wall, tag you into photos and idly speculate when you are (once again) ‘no longer listed in a relationship’. For this, I propose a reflexive variant and a convenient solution to the pitfalls of attempting to drunkenly coordinate hand and mobile phone keypad.

- Alors, on se facebooke?

It might just catch on.