When they met again, her heart had turned to stone.

I sometimes wonder if we over-romanticise relationships.

Perhaps Romeo and Juliet got it right. End it whilst you are still wrapped up in the other person, still in the throes of passion, when you genuinely believe that it is the two of you against the world. If they hadn’t ended it then, they would have more than likely have faded into history: another statistic, an irrelevant anecdote and an awkward moment when they bumped into one another with new partners.

Deciding not to sacrifice themselves and build a future together, they had the decisive and inevitable talk.

Romeo: I think I love you

Juliet: I think I love you too. Romeo, I was thinking...

Romeo: Aha...

Juliet: Well, I was thinking that living in separate courts is a logistic nightmare.

Romeo: And so difficult these days for young professionals in Verona to get on the housing ladder."

Juliet: I know, the prices have been shooting up since the Renaissance.

Juliet: (Seizing her chance) Well, why don't we pool our resources?

And from that innocuous exchange, they move in together and things soon begin to change. They still have fun, but instead of long weekend mornings in bed, spontaneous adventures and mini-breaks they start to spend an inordinate amount of time arguing about whose parents they will spend Christmas at (ooh, the irony). Romeo will get annoyed that he cannot go to the tavern for a few flagons with his mates without getting several messengers (my Shakespearian take on texting) interrupting him and asking to go to the supermarket on his way home. As time goes on they will both stop putting the effort into the relationship and their end will not only be tragic but benignly protracted. What’s more all the happy times they shared together will be conveniently forgotten amid a myriad of bitterness and conjecture.

This week I have been pondering a difficult question, that every man has probably considered at one time or another and a conundrum that has fleshed out many an issue of Cosmopolitan.

Is it possible to be friends with an Ex?

The straw poll that I have done of friends has returned conclusive findings. No way. But I am not so sure. I know people who I have had the most fleeting, random acquaintance with and we have gone on to become friends. Others, where our relationship has bordered on fondness, have disappeared into the ether. I bumped into an example of this a few weeks back (in a lift at Uni to add to the awkwardness) and she fixed me with the sort of venomous stare that one usually reserves for child killers.

What was it that I did wrong, I hear you ask. Did I promise to call and then didn’t? No. Did I run off with her flatmate? No. My only failing was having the honesty to tell her that I didn’t want a relationship. At the time I was enjoying the novelty of being single and the thought of reaching my mid-20s cash rich, selfish and morally ambiguous held a certain allure. I would have quite happily maintained a platonic friendship, but any such thought was deemed an anathema.

Perhaps being able to stay friends, like much in life, comes down to a question of intelligence and maturity.

So if you are out drinking tonight and notice two people looking frostily at each other across the club, remember that they could have been the next Romeo and Juliet if only the monotony of reality hadn’t got in the way.

I recall reading some years back that male sex drive, testosterone and fertility rise at times where a man's sports teams are doing well. So, whilst the Favelas in Rio become even more overcrowded after another Brazilian masterclass, by the year 2100, should trends continue, the population of the British Isles will be around 27. Watching the Rugby in the pub tonight I will bite my nails down to their wick, shout myself hoarse and should we win will walk around with a huge grin on my face. However as the clock ticks around to eight o'clock, I am filled with a deep sense of foreboding and cynicism, angst and a general malaise. A condition symptomatic of any seasoned, patriotic Englishman.

I just know, in the great English tradition, that they will f- it up and grab defeat from the jaws of victory.

Tis the English way.

Ah, but what about 2003 people will say. We did Australia in their own backyard. But in the same way that we toasted the 2005 Ashes success, we knew that it was a unique occurence the moment the first ball left Harminson's hand a couple of years later. The English football team messing up in Russia last Wednesday would have riled me more if it had not been oh so predictable. Just at the point you think you can relax and believe in an England team they mess up. It could be worse, and some people say that the English have an overblown sense of their own significance on the World stage. But it is not the losing per se that riles me but the manner in which we lose. An Englishman will invest so much emotional currency in the cause only to be let down. English sporting teams are prick-teasers. You take an interest in them, buy them drinks, subscribe to their inane chatter but when it comes down to the crucial moment they disappear off into the night and leave you to get a taxi home alone.

I was idealistic once, but I think that died when Chris Waddle skied the ball into the balmy Turin night in Italia '90. Two years later, when England were knocked out of Euro '92 by Sweden (the late Brian Moores' commentary 'Brolin...Dahlin...Brolin...oh yes!' still makes me angry fifteen years on). After that match I went to my bedroom and tore down all my England posters. My cynicism that year was reflected in my trick or treat costume.

I went as Graham Taylor.

But England's underperformance continued unabated in the classic fashion. Tabloid logic prevailed. England did not fail to qualify at the next World Cup because of their own ineptitude but by that of a referee in Rotterdam. I wonder if this is a traditional English approach throughout history? After the massacre at the Battle of the Somme, for example, instead of blaming Haig's incompetent strategy was it more a question of the Germans not playing fair with their machine guns?. The next European and World Championsips came around and with every disappointment my optimism was further skewered.

In many ways I crave the innocence that I had as a child. When I cried when England were knocked out of Italia '90 the hot, fat tears that rolled down my 9 year old cheeks were pure and genuine. Like when your first love leaves you for a mate, your emotions flow freely. You have never felt such pain before and have no point of reference to fall back on. When it happens again, you are upset, but in your more cynical mindset you put it down to experience, possibly go out and get drunk and start all over again...

The line between sport and love is an ambiguous one, as in many ways they are each a metaphor for one another.

Come on England, make me believe again.

Chris

Coincidence is a funny thing, and I found it particularly apt that on the tenth anniversary of the death of Princess Diana, I was proof reading a philosophy paper entitled “Life after Breath”. Whilst the paper in question appraised Wittgenstein and posthumous interpretations of Nefertiti, it could have equally looked at the image of Diana – that most iconic of late twentieth century figures.

I in no way claim to be a Royalist, and hold those who fawn uncritically over the monarchy in a kind of pitiful disdain – around the same level as Reality TV aficionados and those who consume their parochial, bitter, hate-infused World view verbatim from the pages of The Daily Mail. I do, however, concede that Diana did some sterling work in bringing the causes of HIV/Aids and landmines to the attention of the wider World. Like many thousands of unsung people do. Furthermore, I recognise that her death was a tragedy – as is that of any single mother having suffered from demons, depression and who embarked naively into an unloving relationship. I am sure many others suffer an analogous fate each and every year, but we do not hear so much of these tragedies as they are relegated to a tiny column on page twenty or the tenth item on a local news programme.

It would be interesting to discover how many of those so enamoured with the ‘Diana myth’ a decade on disapproved when pictures of Diana ‘cavorting’ with Dodi Fayed were splashed across newsstands in the summer of 1997. And how many rubbed their hands in salubrious glee at seeing the pictures that adorned the front page of The Sun newspaper up until the day she died? Lets make no bones about it, in certain media circles there was coverage bordering on distasteful, closeted racism – consternation that the mother of a future king might be seeing a man of Arabic extraction.

But the moment that she died, with a Stalinist sweep, history was revised and theirs became the most tragic love story since Romeo and Juliet. From tabloid fodder, Diana became ‘The Queen of Hearts’, ‘The People’s Princess’ and the inspiration for a thousand more sycophantic sobriquets.

This in turn fuels the Diana industry. A quick look at Ebay heralds a load of Diana-related merchandise, from plates and books to dolls and (bizarrely) phone-cards. What’s more there seems to be no stopping the Diana-brand cash cow. Meanwhile aides, pallbearers and former confidants fill their boots off the back of her untimely demise. It is distasteful and disrespectful, but morality falls by the wayside when you have newspapers to sell and books to promote. In the case of The Daily Express it is an editorial decision to promote every Diana non-story and tenuous conspiracy theory to the front cover of the paper. But the drones lap it up like the lobotomised cattle they are.

Much has and will be written about how Diana’s death changed British society and, no doubt, many of the commemorative pullouts will gush of ‘our grief’, ‘our loss’ and the ‘the pain we all felt’. I objected to this presumptive, facile breast-beating in 1997 and find it equally offensive a decade on. Yes, Diana’s death was a tragedy for her family. And in years to come our kids might ask where we were when it happened, in much the same vein as we might ask our parents where they were when JFK was shot, or Neil Armstrong stepped onto the Moon. But the media reaction to Diana’s death spawned a monster that continues to rear its head and louse up a populous of gullible, emotionally-stunted retards that feel it necessary to react to every unfortunate event with a myriad of minute silences, crocodile tears and fatuous expressions of ‘their collective grief’.

Yet, loathed be the person who questions the intellectual premise of ‘the mob’. We have seen this recently with the blanket coverage of the abduction of Madeline McCann. Yes, it is a tragedy that a small child was abducted whilst on holiday, but the media reaction has been disgustingly disproportionate to the event. I wonder how many children in the Third World have died from preventable diseases in the months since the little Western girl went missing? But wait, isn't that what charity wristbands are for?

Now Diana, that was a real tragedy...

In a hurry to catch my train at Leeds station this evening, a random tramp approaches me. This is, however, not your run of the mill vagabond asking for change for a cup of tea. He starts to reel off pun after pun, joke after joke like a cross between Rainman and Bob Monkhouse lubricated by a six pack of Special Brew. I ignore him and hope he gets my drift, but he gives chase regaling me with shit one liners.

After a couple of minutes (at which point I am starting to get rather annoyed with this wannabe comedian) I tell him that I "really do not have time to listen to you, I have a train to catch". I am polite but firm, but my words fall on deaf ears. Then he changes tack...

Tramp: "Do you know any jokes?"

Chris: "Sorry mate, really got to rush for the train"

Tramp: "Come on, tell me a joke"

Chris: (becoming increasingly frustrated) "what do you call a tramp that doesn't take a hint?"

Tramp: (sucked in due to intoxication) "dunno, what do call a tramp that doesn't take a hint?"

Chris: "Sorry mate, what's your name?"

Tramps, street vendors, members of religious sects and fat people obstructing entrances take note.

If you cross Chris when he's in a hurry, you do so at your peril!

Yesterday I undertook my first interview for my EOTG project and enjoyed myself enormously. I interviewed Igor and Maia (pictured) from Union Scene and spent over an hour and a half talking about the lives and concerns of Russians living in Estonia. Although I was initially nervous about venturing into this field, after an hour I had to switch off the sound recorder to preserve memory on my phone! They were kind, welcoming and bowled me over with their enthusiasm and passion for what they believe in and represent. Over coffee they drew me into a World that I had little prior knowledge of and left me with a clear sense of direction, purpose and belief in what I was writing about.

Spending an afternoon talking about politics, alluding to Tolstoy and learning about a culture hitherto off my radar I got the feeling that journalism really cannot get more enjoyable than this...

But today is another day...

Well Gordon,

You made it! I bet there were times where you thought that Number 10 would pass you by? Well now you are in the top job, I have a few suggestions as to how you can really make a difference to the Britain that you inherit....Thinking what you should concentrate on first is a difficult task, so here are just a few suggestions to point you in the right direction...

The Economy

Yes, I accept that you have done a fairly decent job thus far, but there are a few areas where you could do much better. Firstly you should instigate a fundamental review into the Council Tax, which in my opinion is as unfair as the Poll Tax that brought down Thatcher. The Council Tax system is flawed because it fails to take account of the fundamental rule that taxation ought to be both progressive and fair. To this end, a Local Income Tax model based on the ability to pay (and not postcode) is a more just model to pursue.

Elsewhere the abolition of the 10p tax allowance (despite the 2p cut in the higher band) announced in your most recent budget means that those on the lowest income are now worse off, and this coupled with tax breaks for Private Equity firms belies a sickening inequality. Yes we should promote economic growth, but this should not be to the detriment of the very poorest in society. Oxfam statistics suggest that nearly 13 million people live in poverty in Britain (including, disgracefully, some 4m children). Despite your need to appeal to the Middle Class vote, it is still right that a Labour PM should not forget those at the foot of the economical ladder.

To do so would be a bit Tory wouldn't it?, and that's the last thing you would want to be accused of...

The Environment

Tied to my Economical argument is the Environment. Yup, the issue that any self respecting Politician would fly to the other side of the globe in order to show that they take it seriously. Well I have a couple of simple ways to improve British Environmental Policy. Firstly, you need to understand that the way to person's conscience is through their wallet. Give tax breaks to people who actively recycle, make Public Transport more affordable, increase Government grants for research into sustainable energy resources and tax people who choose to drive gas-guzzling cars even more heavily.

It's not a panacea, but it's something to get you started.

Home Affairs

A symptom of your predecessor's administration is that it has been far too focussed on style over substance. Ministers are more concerned about getting a sound bite on the front page of a tabloid, or in creating the illusion of tackling social problems, rather than actually doing so. Take policing, for example. Would it not be wiser, rather than recruit more officers, to invest more in equipment that means that their time is used more effectively? And why do the likes of John Reid insist on criticising Judges in a way more befitting of Henry VIII than a modern Home Secretary? All too often reactionary measures are announced without the Home Office actually thinking them through. Take ID Cards for example. Apparently they are going to tackle Terrorism. Really? So how is that going to work then? Next we are told they are going to curb illegal immigration...Really?... But then I suppose that every person who gets smuggled into the UK in the back of a lorry by a unscrupulous gang-master pops by his or her local tax office at their first convenience...

Oh, and that's without getting me started on Civil Liberties...

Foreign Affairs

Ah, do you remember the halcyon days of Robin Cook and his 'ethical foreign policy'? Good things never seem to last do they? To this end your first act as leader should be to hold a transparent and independent inquiry into the BAE systems affair, for as your colleague Hilary Benn has rightly admitted these allegations, "are overshadowing Britain's efforts to tackle International Corruption" and dismissal of these allegations by your predecessor on the grounds that they might affect UK-Saudi relations is no excuse for not doing so. Consistency and acting with integrity is key to good Foreign Policy. To this end, you should instigate a hold on the replacement of the Trident missile system (at least) until after the 2010 Nuclear Non-Proliferation Conference. We cannot actually expect to hold any gravitas in getting North Korea, China and others to curb proliferation of nuclear missiles if we are doing so ourselves. Can we?

As for the 'Special Relationship', (the old chesnut that is sure to keep your predecessor in lecture tours and chat show appearances for years to come), it has to be one based on mutual respect and a deference for International Law. Similarly we should maintain a close relationship with Europe and not be so fearful of closer integration. Far from Europe stealing away our national identity, it supplements it. At times our European neighbours are like friends who point us in the right direction when we've had a bit too much to drink. It is worth bearing in mind that many of the most positive social reforms we have seen in recent years have emanated from other EU Member States. Backing away from closer European ties is simply throwing the baby away with the bathwater.

I will leave the NHS, Constitutional Reform, International Development, Education, Affordable Housing and Pensions for another time

You probably have boxes to pack.

Chris

PS: Since I have Student Loans to pay back thanks to your Government, any chance of taking me on in a Consultancy role?

(Photo copyright BBC)

Rather than only posting to criticise, I have launched a section of this site to praise figures when I deem it appropriate. The first figure to recieve this auspicious honour is former US President Jimmy Carter, for his latest well articulated attack on Blair and the Iraq debacle, echoing the views of many liberals, that the UK's "almost undeviating" support for "the ill-advised policies of President Bush in Iraq has been a major tragedy for the world". It is refreshing to hear a man whose tireless work to bring peaceful and diplomatic conflict solutions , (for which he recieved the Nobel Peace Prize) voice his opinions in public, and whilst the White House may dismiss him as "increasingly irrelavent", in the present climate the need for the likes of Carter is greater than ever.

On a related topic, I recommend an excellent article by Andrew Stephen in the current edition of British political magazine The New Statesman on how US politics has, in general, shifted to the Right. As someone who is a moderate by European standards, it is interesting to note that in US terms my politics would be considered radical!

Vive la revolution, comrades.

Chris

Allow me to introduce myself and my aims for this page...

I am a 26 year old British freelance writer and journalist who after spending several years studying, living and working in various places in the European Union is currently based back in his native North East of England.

I have been on the writing list at Babel for the last few years, covering a range of topics as well as making a number of contributions to print media. I see this blog as an extension of my other writing work - a chance to rant, pontificate and comment on events as they happen and maybe even add something to the debate myself...

Initially this blog will be written in English, but as time allows I aim to launch a sister French language version. More details shortly.

I welcome the input from readers of this blog, so please leave comments.

I speak English (mother tongue), French and Spanish.

Happy reading

Chris